Fashion-Focused Fun (3 Travel #OOTDs)

Welcome back to Style Sunday, blog fam!  Today I am going to share with you three #OOTDs [outfit of the day(s)] that I have worn on my road trip thus far.

For those of you unaware, a few days ago Spirit guided me to get back on the road to clear up some unfinished business.  When I left Maine in December of 2018, I had put most of my items into storage and packed what I anticipated needing for this open-ended road trip into my trunk.  Now that I have claimed home in Tucson, Arizona, I have been guided to go collect the rest of my things.  There is an even bigger picture to this road trip as I have been able to establish a sense of safety for myself knowing I have a place to live in a more permanent scale.  This has really allowed me to become more comfortable in my finances on this road trip and live with more curiosity and freedom than ever before.

So, knowing that this road trip was safe for me to stay present and enjoy myself to the fullest, I made a promise to myself that I would stop and see or do things that truly piqued my interest or were waiting to be checked off my bucket list.

The first stop that piqued my interest was 65 miles outside of my starting point of Tucson, Arizona.  It was a small town of Dragoon that had been advertising its peculiar attraction of “The Thing” for 40+ miles leading up to its exit off the highway.  Feeling funky and in touch with my inner child, especially with my recent rediscovery of my curiosity in Bigfoot, I had to find out what The Thing was that was worth 40+ miles of highway billboard advertising.

Well…

After meandering around the store, I still wasn’t certain what The Thing was… was it the alien holding the sign?  Was it the vast array of animal heads hanging on the wall?  I didn’t know, but the energy inside of that building was intense and pulled me in immediately.  I knew it had a lot of culture and history to it and I got lost in the atmosphere.

After I had decided to leave the building and get back into my car, I realized I had missed out on an opportune moment of taking a photo inside of that chaotic and energy-filled space.  The print of my pants was reminiscent of the Native American trinkets and décor that lined the tables and shelves.  I meandered back into the store, dodged an interesting glance from one of the workers who had seen me come back into the store a couple of times at that point, and I found a place to prop up my camera for a quick auto-timer photoshoot.

What I love about these pants is that they are extremely comfortable and road-trip approved.  They are not tight like jeans, so they sit comfortable around the waist which is ideal for road-trips considering the amount of sitting that is required (lol).

This white tank top was a clutch $3 purchase from Walmart.  To make it my own style I like to tie it in a knot.   Lately, instead of my go-to of tying the knot in the front, I have begun tying the knot in the back of the shirt, making the top looked like a fitted crop.

The cowboy hat was staring me in the face so… I just had to grab it from the bin and incorporate it into the shoot…

These pants are from the store Lovesick which was a sister store to Torrid and no longer exists.  However, I have seen this print in multiple other stores with similar pant styles such as Forever21’s plus size section.  This style and print is very similar: https://shopstyle.it/l/4Wuh

Other options include:

https://shopstyle.it/l/4Wr5

And…take note that these only go up to size XL and I have no reference for how they fit because I’ve never tried this brand: https://amzn.to/2Xt4Onw

After The Thing, I continued my journey which brought me through Texas.  After meandering through Austin, I stayed in an Air BnB for the night in Houston and then found my way toward New Orleans the next day for my first ever NOLA experience.  Sitting in an air-conditioned car for 5 hours leading up to my arrival in New Orleans prepared me to…suffer the extremely humid climate that suffocated me as soon as I innocently opened my door with excitement and stepped outside upon arriving.  My hair instantly started to frizz up which had me yearning for the frizz taming spray by Living Proof created for shielding hair in humid climates.  What’s funny about wishing I had this product with me, which I left back in Tucson, was that it was a product I’d been carrying around with me for years that I always forgot I had until I stumbled across it within my hair products.  It was almost empty, but I refused to get rid of it because I knew that I would need it… one day.  Well, that one day came and guess what?  I didn’t have it.  But if you want to make sure you have it on your trip, I can vouch for this product: https://amzn.to/2Xv8JjB

I assembled my hair into a couple of different hairstyles and changed my outfit a few times in anticipation for walking around in what felt like… Hell (lol).  At first, I put on a pair of jeans that did not sit comfortably from the sweat that was quickly accumulating from existing in that geographical location.  Sitting in my car after mangling myself and a couple of my brittle nails (trying to strengthen them after weeks of wearing tips and dip nail polish) trying to pull my jeans onto my already-damp body made me feel like a frustrated, stiff marshmallow.  I couldn’t breathe.  So, I pulled the jeans off and switched to something that was much more friendly around my waist and thighs: my galaxy yoga pants from Torrid.  At least I would be a lot more comfortable walking around because these pants would bend with me more easily than my just-washed jeans that were just-washed-tight (which I usually look forward to).

I sat there in my car, huffing and puffing from the gymnastics I had to do to change privately in my car and found the defeat pouring in.  I recognized that my mood was not where I desired it to be considering I was on vacation and chose to enjoy myself and my adventure instead of forcing myself to do that which would bring me agony.

What I’ve learned to do in times where I feel my plans are not working smoothly is surrender to what the Universe is trying to create for me.  I now have grasped the idea to not try to force things to make them happen in any regard and I’ve become respectful of my own energetic needs.  As soon as I had stepped out into that humidity, I became annoyed.  I didn’t want to walk around in that kind of weather.

So, instead of following the plan I had which included walking around Louis Armstrong Park and eating at Café du Monde, I found a place to eat where there was accessible parking right out front of the building.  On my navigation to Parkway Bakery and Tavern, I noticed a small pond area that was hosting a beautiful view of the sunset.  My mood changed as I decided I would grab my dinner to-go and walk down the block to sit by the water and relax into the sunset’s painted sky while I ate.  However, before I got out of my car to get food, I took an honest inventory of myself.  The outfit I had on was the galactic yoga pants and my Love tee with sneakers.  This wasn’t an outfit that was empowering me to feel like myself in this moment.  Maybe if I was going to workout I would have felt differently, but I knew that I needed to feel like me to really enjoy the experience.

So…I changed back into those jeans realizing that the humidity was decreasing now that the sun was going down and I wasn’t going to be doing too much walking.  In total, including the clothes I have in storage back in Maine, I only have two pairs of denim jeans.  The pair that I brought on my road trip are my absolute favorite pair of jeans I’ve had since my last pair of jeans that I loved so much they exploded in the thigh area from my constant wearing them.  I’m very peculiar about my jeans because I’m short at a height of almost 5’3 and my legs are definitely shorter than my torso.  To find a pair of jeans that I love is truly nothing short of a miracle.  I am coming to terms that the thighs of these jeans are wearing down to a dangerously thin level and I will need to retire them soon enough knowing that my next new favorite pair are making their way into my life.

You may recognize this Love tee from my last Style Sunday regarding Releasing Goal-Weight Clothing From Your Closet.  It is a tee that I was beginning to not enjoy and then knew I would love it more if I took some scissors to the length and made it into a crop top.  This is my favorite way to custom-create tops and has opened the door to buy tops from anywhere including thrift shops, knowing I can tailor them to my own crop-top style.

I propped up my camera against my delicious PoorBoy-sandwich gigantic shopping bag that they put my order-to-go into and had a photoshoot by the water.

I noticed how many people were wearing shorts in New Orleans which was completely understandable considering how hot it was.  However, if you have thick thighs and/or experience chub rub, I recommend wearing pants because although it may be unbearably hot, it will at least minimize the issue of developing a painful or itchy red rash between your thighs.  If you’re looking for a great chub-rub defying product, Body Glide has always been a wonderful option for me that I’ve used a lot when I lived in California and loved wearing short-shorts.  Check it out here and beware of the pink tax bullshit they try to put on the “women’s” body glide product.  The regular Body Glide works just fine: https://amzn.to/2X88zzr

I wished I had my favorite pair of wedges with me to complete this look because of how much I was craving physically embodying my femininity. But they got left behind in Tucson for the road trip.  So, it was between my sneakers and my bright yellow flip flops that I purchased from Walmart with intention to wear in any public showers such as at the gym or rec center.  Since my newest pair of slides I received recently burst apart to no return, these flip flops were my only option outside of sneakers when I was packing.  I really need to upgrade my footwear game… anyway…

I brought my food to eat by the pond, I enjoyed the colors of the sky as the sun sunk lower, and I felt empowered by my outfit knowing it was the best representation of how I felt in that moment.  My trip to New Orleans and my mood regarding it was quickly turning around.

Since this is a fashion-focused post, I will go into depth about my trip to New Orleans for a Travel Tuesday very soon, as the night that unfolded after eating that sandwich by the pond was truly spiritually guided and miraculous…

The reason I got the opportunity to check out New Orleans was because I was heading toward visiting my friend who lives in Mobile, Alabama (which is two hours east of NOLA).  However, before our paths could cross, the Universe guided me to Pensacola, Florida where there was an available Air BnB.  I hadn’t rested well the night before between New Orleans and arriving in Mobile, so I needed rest, repair, and relaxation to finish this blog post for you guys!  Plus, some much needed beach therapy was in the works for this Pisces Spirit.

I am trying to, of course, balance my finances on this trip.  Luckily, I have the option to drive for Lyft almost anywhere I go.  I picked up some rides this morning which came with ease in Mobile, Alabama and found myself effortlessly able to book the Pensacola Air Bnb for the amount of money I had made.  This empowered me because that would mean my budget would break-even.  Woo!  I drove the hour trip from Mobile to Pensacola and got some groceries to kill time before I could check into the space.  I thought I would get to the Air BnB, rest, and then go to the beach.  The Universe decided otherwise.  My room wasn’t quite ready when I arrived and I realized that the Universe thought it would be best for me to get some much-needed beach time first, and then be able to come back and relax for the rest of my evening.  So… to the beach I went!

This bikini top is from Torrid and has stretched out over the years… especially from my wild antics of dodging waves and jumping into pools from high-diving boards 9 feet above the water… (lol yes I did this recently and lost my breath mid air/free-fall).  I unhooked the straps from the back of the bikini top and tied them into a knot around my neck for stability, since my breasts were toppling out otherwise.  This worked and kept me decent on the beach without exposing myself.  However, I am in the market for a new supportive bikini top.  Recommendations? 😉

These bottoms are my favorite bikini bottoms I’ve ever had… they’re from last year’s Target selection and they’re my favorite because of the way they cut across my booty.  They, too, have become stretched out and are ready to be recycled from my wardrobe unfortunately.  However, this didn’t stop me from propping up my phone against my semi-sandy backpack and having my own photoshoot on the beach.  It also didn’t stop me from spending most of my time in the water… and the waves were pretty wild and fun!  I definitely thought I touched something sea-creaturey though while navigating into the water and I gasped a bit… but I probably just brushed a rock … heh… right?  -_-

I hope this fashion post inspired you and got you excited to express your style effortlessly and fearlessly along your own adventures through life!

I’ll see you soon,
BodyLoveBritt

The Manipulative Side-Effects of Manifestation (& What To Look For)

*GLITTER BOMB OF TRUTH!*

Hello Louisiana!  I am currently sitting inside of a Taco Bell enjoying some lunch and allowing this blog post to flow out.  It’s interesting because I ordered my food through the mobile app anticipating to pick it up through the drive thru and continue my journey toward New Orleans.  Instead of being able to pick up my food through the drive thru, I was instructed to come into the store.  I sat in the parking lot for a moment, realizing that God was guiding me to eat inside so I could sit down and create this post.  So, I grabbed my computer, picked up my food, and found my place at a table to eat inside and create this post.  Here we go…

Let’s talk about manifestation… and how to tell when somebody is trying to manifest you back into their lives (think an ex lover or toxic familial connection) in a manipulative way.  Before you turn away from this post as if it may not resonate or you may not fully understand what this means, I ask you to stay because I guarantee you will be able to relate in ways you were not aware of before.  This is crucial.  It’s going to help your well-being.

Have you ever been getting over somebody (or something) and suddenly feel like you cannot stop thinking about them?  Maybe even thinking about them more than usual… but the energy has suddenly shifted regarding them?  Perhaps you were once certain that contacting them was not in alignment with love or truth and would be you resorting to old people-pleasing tactics to fulfill that addictive need.  Maybe these sudden thoughts and changing habits regarding this people leaves you feeling shocked as you were once so adamant about your position in the situation – in a healthy, balanced mindset.  You may even suddenly begin to feel like perhaps things weren’t as bad, toxic, or imbalanced as they were – or even worse, that your actions were unjust and you need to redeem yourself.  Maybe you suddenly feel like perhaps you should go back to the methods you used in the past that failed you because maybe they are the right actions – you just weren’t trying hard enough…

This sudden change in your way of thinking is your energetic system potentially being manipulated by their attempt to manifest you back into their lives – in a way that serves THEM (manipulation and control).

As I was driving through Texas yesterday along my road trip, I found myself listening to a random tarot reading on YouTube regarding a past love who I had put all my heart and energy into with loving intention.  As the tarot reading went on and on… it went into depth about this person from my past and at the end of the 3 cumulative hours I spent listening to this reading, I knew it wasn’t some random reading.  In fact, I believe nothing is random in life.  I trust that we are guided to hear things for a reason.

This reading was so spot on with meticulous detail of what I went through with this person a couple years ago.  The reading described how this person desperately wanted to contact me but didn’t feel like they could.  It went into detail about the pain that they haven’t been able to tell me about and the inner demons keeping them trapped.  Naturally, this had me thinking about them with more openness of them coming back into my life.  It was even subconsciously planting the seed that perhaps I should reach out to them, despite when I’d reached out to them in the past and was honest with my emotions, I had doors slammed in my face multiple times.

My compassion for their downfalls and inabilities to communicate what they were and are currently going through weighed on my heart as I adventured around Austin, Texas that day.  I felt myself being more tolerant of feeling their energy around me.  When I got back onto the road later that night to head to my Air BnB in Houston, I had 2.5 hours ahead of me on the road.  I was guided to watch a different tarot reading, this one tailored to my zodiac sun sign of Pisces.  In it, the energy that was being picked up was a continuance of the energy of me opening back up to this person from the past in a way where I would reach out to them.  The reading was done by an entirely different person however I knew it was the same energy trying to reach me.  As the reading went on it was saying how much of a good match me and this person were and that it was a good idea for me to reach out to them to make amends.  They weren’t going to budge, so it was up to me.

I believed this for a moment thinking, “Wow, I’m actually going to reach out to this person again? Okay… I do have a lot of love for them… and I now understand their struggles of communicating with me even more… maybe I should.”

And then … IT HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK.  All the pieces of the puzzle that I had been collecting over the past few weeks regarding the ideas of somebody trying to manifest me into their lives came together in a beautiful picture.

To manifest somebody into our lives means to put intention into our energy regarding the desired person of how we want our fate to go with that person in the energy-space we are currently vibrating from.  If we are coming from a vibration of unconditional love, then we will attract and manifest people into our lives capable of upholding that same vibration.  However, if we are vibrating from a space of control, deceit, (negative) pride, or manipulation, we will attempt to manifest that person into our lives through those means.

I recognized that the Universe was testing me through hearing these readings and picking up on this person’s energy of “not being able to reach out to me.”  It hit me that this past lover was wanting me to reach out to them, so they didn’t have to face their own pride and come my way.  This was the easy way out for them.  If I returned to them, it would comfort their soul that the actions that happened between us could be laid to rest.  I realized it was the SAME energy that I grew up with in a narcissistic household.  I was constantly made to feel like I had to put up with people’s behaviors because they “didn’t know better.”  This was extreme negligence of not wanting to take responsibility for one’s actions and therefore manipulating somebody else to disregard their own (my own) self-worth and deal with it.

I started crying while on the road because of the anger that suddenly came forward realizing that this person wasn’t trying to manifest me from a space of unconditional love.  I trust that they didn’t want to come forward out of their own cowardly behaviors and were trying to get me to come to them by using deceitful pity that they were not capable.  It was a test to see if I was still susceptible to the narcissistic people-pleasing and self-depleting behaviors I was taught to implement during my childhood.

I suddenly reclaimed my throne of Queendom KNOWING that I am deserving and worthy of more.  I felt my awareness make a powerful shift in that moment as I suddenly felt a deeper, more loving connection to my inner child.  These readings were testing me and I passed… and the gift was opening up to a higher sense of consciousness.

The truth is that my emotions deserve a safe space to be expressed within relationships.  The truth is that people CAN reach out to us, or overcome their demons, regardless of how much pity they try to develop in a case that they aren’t able.  This is their attempts to avoid responsibility of leveling up their lives and taking control of their own actions.  This is manipulation and can be used through guilting us into taking pity on their poor souls that are just not capable.  What they don’t realize is that they are taking away their own power by doing this to grab at ours through controlling us to do what they say.  This is not love.

So, if you find yourself suddenly feeling differently toward a person whom you feel you have seen the light toward, I ask you to take a step back and consider that they may be trying to manifest you into their lives through breaking down your own healthy boundaries.  Nothing is a coincidence in life.  Ever.  It is all synchronicity guiding us to a deeper understanding of unconditional love for ourselves to arrive us at the fate and destiny we truly deserve.

I mean, come on, how many times have we moved on from people and then they suddenly reappear wanting to make amends?  Everything is energy, and when we choose to love ourselves and uplevel our lives by making higher decisions, they can feel that.  If they are not taking responsibility for their own soul growth, then they are going to want to bring us back down to their level.  Otherwise, they run the risk of losing us, losing the control they once had, and losing a sense of their egoic identity.

(P.S. Another way they may try to manipulate you back into their lives is sending you songs that cry out how much they miss you, or were in the wrong… anything to gain some pity in hopes that we will go to them.  Because they want that control in their lives back when it comes to us.  Heed this warning because it has tricked me multiple times.)

As for this person, if they decide to reach out to me that is their choice.  I know what I deserve regardless of their actions and I will no longer settle for less than that deservedness of peace, respect, and unconditional love.  I bid you all well.  Take care of yourselves.

See you soon,
BodyLoveBritt

 

Journey Over Destination. Always

Since the birth of this blog I have had an expectation of how my Travel Tuesday posts should go.  I was basing my idea off of a travel blog set-up where I would review places and bring that guided helpfulness to others in regards to the logistics of visiting a place:  best places to eat, most fun things to do, accessibility and ease of destinations, etc.

Although I feel I will bring content like that to my Travel Tuesdays, Spirit is guiding me into a different direction right now when it comes to my Travel segments.  There is a deep spiritual freedom that has come from allowing myself the bravery to travel, especially alone.  I have gone on multiple roadtrips from east coast to west coast and have blazed through the majority of the states in between.  Traveling can truly be enhanced by stopping to make visits and tastes the foods of different places.  This is to not be underestimated.  However, traveling can also be an intuitive, life-changing event solely from getting out on the open road, letting the breeze comb through your hair from the open window or the A/C blasting in your car, getting lost in the music, and feeling the comfort of the highway signs reassuring you that if you need any resources such as gas, food, or a place to sleep, it is available.

I’ve spent a lot of time out on the open road, roadtripping from place to place.  I’ve gone on multiple cross-country road trips over the past decade of my life and each one has brought its own experiences and differences.  The one thing that has always remained the same and been what has pulled me back to do it again has been the freedom of simply just driving — sometimes without a specific destination or know-how in mind.  The liberation of knowing it is safe to just … go… and be at one with the open road has freed me.

This has been a huge link to my self-connection and my truth.  Driving is a meditative practice for me that restores me and elevates my vibrations.  While driving I catch myself visualizing what it is I truly desire in life without any restrictions trying to hold me back.  The energy of the open road carries with it the limitless potential of going anywhere, of doing anything, of being anyone.  It rips away any walls or ceilings I’ve tried to box myself into and gives me a fair opportunity to believe in myself to achieve what it is I want.

The clarity I receive on the open road is unlike any clarity I receive elsewhere.  It’s a different kind of clarity – a link to my true Spirit.  Driving keeps me present because I need to pay attention to what is going on, yet gives me the unlimited potential to focus on whatever dreams are making their way to the forefront.  I have the time and space to think about them and feel into them without that intrepid sense of guilt I get when I’m daydreaming and have other things I should be doing.  Driving helps me manifest.

Before I can really bring that travel-inspired content mentioned in my first paragraph, it is important to me to develop a foundation of understanding between me and you, my beloved readers.  Driving on the open road ingrains the truth that it is not about the destination that liberates me, it really is all about the journey.

It took me multiple cross-country trips to finally stop judging myself about not “taking advantage” of the fact that I was driving through so many different places.  I would feel a sense of guilt that I was mostly staying on the highway during my drive-throughs instead of taking time to stop and explore.  When I would stop and explore I was often glad I did, however I was limiting my idea of travel to needing to see something beautiful or extraordinary to be personally moved.

When I left for a roadtrip in December of 2018 to follow my soul’s calling and find out what it was I truly desired in life, I had all of the freedom in the world to get out and explore.  I thought this is what I would be doing and would be integrating it into my social media.  But Spirit and the Universe had a different plan for me.  They were showing me that going for a long drive on the road is a deep sense of therapy for me.  It rejuvenates my soul.  It helps me increase my vibration to assure that I leave behind negative thought processes that make me feel like I’m not good enough.  It nurtures my soul.  I learned that it was okay to drop the expectation that just because I wasn’t doing as much exploration externally on my trips didn’t mean I wasn’t expanding myself and doing deep exploration internally.

I finally dropped the judgment that I needed to “make the most” of my trips by going to places, instead of allowing myself to just drive.  I began to realize the need for open-road driving in my life.  It keeps me in balance and it helps me process the gunk that may be sitting in my life, ready for release.

Perhaps now that I have dropped the self-judgment of not exploring places as much as one may assume since I’ve done multiple roadtrips, my emergence of exploration will come more naturally.  I won’t be telling myself I “should” be making more stops and seeing more attractions.  I’ll know that it is safe for me to go with the flow and do what feels right because I am spiritually upgrading and up-leveling with each mile I make.

I am compelled to write this post for Travel Tuesday today because I am about to go on one of my most miraculous roadtrips yet.  This is because my intention of this roadtrip is to close a giant chapter of my life and elevate me toward a higher sense of love.  Instead of wondering what to make of this trip, I know that my intention is to finalize my decision to move on.  I’ll explain more as progress is made and now that I have this blog implemented, I will be able to take you guys along for the journey with even more depth than ever before.

Until then, I encourage you to trust that the way you explore life is okay.  The most important part about travel, to me, is enjoyment.  If you feel good then you’re doing something right.  Everybody’s needs are different and the way we experience life is supposed to be varied.  Dropping self-judgment will elevate you to a more profound state of love.

See you soon,
BodyLoveBritt

6 Reasons To Release “Goal Weight” Clothing From Your Closet

Yesterday I was having a conversation with somebody regarding keeping old clothes that used to fit with hopes that they will fit again in the future.  This person asked me my opinion on this, and it brought me back to the times that I have also had “Goal Weight” clothing hanging in my closet.

Everything comes down to how something makes us feel inside because everything in this Universe is energy.  This requires us to become very honest with ourselves, or at least be willing to invite honesty inward when it comes to our emotional states.  Our true energy/vibration can not fool the Universe no matter how much we may try to resist/ignore/or deny our true feelings.

Having grown up in a body that was never in an “average” weight category, I know the battle of wishing, hoping, and praying that my body would change and conform to what was deemed normal.  Due to this, there were a couple of times where I hung on to old clothing that once fit me, hoping they would fit me again in the future once I lost enough weight.

It seemed like a motivational thing to do.  However, every time I opened my closet door and saw that pair of too-small jeans hanging there, negative feelings rushed into my system.  I still couldn’t fit into them.  I would start scolding myself that I clearly was not working hard enough.  I would call myself names like saying I was lazy.  I would feel the shame and embarrassment of failure running through my body.  But I hung on to these items because getting rid of them would have meant admitting defeat.  I refused to do that.  This mindset kept me in a state of lack.

In this post I will explain 6 ways to release old clothing (and really anything that no longer serves us) to make way for the new, through acts of self-love.

If, and only if, keeping goal weight clothing in your closet truly makes you feel good, empowered, and motivated in a deeply honest way, then absolutely do that.  In my reality, that wasn’t a true experience for me.  If this is the same for you, then here is why it is okay and *loving* to let go.

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Staying in Lack / “Not Good Enough” Mindset

If I was able to be honest with myself, removing judgment or shame from the equation, I would have realized that I didn’t deserve to constantly be reminded of feeling “not good enough”.  This energy keeps us in lack.  The Universe is constantly working with our energies.  Like I mentioned before, we cannot trick the Universe when it comes to how we truly feel, for it senses our vibrations regardless of what we are willing to admit to ourselves.  It is not how our bodies look that brings shame and negativity to our lives.  It is how we view ourselves for looking the way that we do in any given moment.  Constantly feeling like I wasn’t good enough by not being able to fit into these “Goal Weight” clothes taught the Universe to provide me situations in life that were constantly providing me “lack”.  With that energy comes stagnant energy.

Stagnant Energy

Stagnant energy comes from fear-based thought patterns that accumulate in our lives and subconsciously dictate how our lives will go.   Keeping clothes in our wardrobes that no longer suit us, whether that’s their size or style, blocks new energy coming in that is more aligned with us.  For those of you familiar with the author Marie Kondo, she is all about keeping items in our lives that bring us joy and releasing the rest.  I am constantly focusing on that energy when it comes to my wardrobe because I, for too long, wore clothing that would cover up and conceal me over clothing that matched my mood in that moment and felt like an authentic portrayal of myself.  Stagnant energy creates blocks.  We must release what no longer serves us to show the Universe we have made room for something better.  If we are clinging on to the past, then we are neglecting our beautiful opportunities of increased self-love to flow into the present and future moments.

Resisting Love in The Present Moment

Growing up with a fixation on losing weight constantly had me reaching outside of the present moment to find love.  I was certain that I would only be deserving of that love, confidence, success, and expression of truth once I was “thin”.  Until then, I wasn’t deserving of that joy and happiness because my physical body was not good enough.  Often, we can only create that future feeling of love and success by being willing to know that we deserve it as we look and exist in this present moment right now.  Those dreams you have for when your body looks a certain way?  Guess what?  You deserve your dreams to come true right now, as your body exists in its present state.  You’re good enough now. Read that again.

Fear of Sizing Up

I would get caught up on numbers, like what size clothing I was wearing or what number showed up when I stepped onto the scale. I would feel empowered when I’d be able to fit into a piece of clothing that was marked a smaller size than I typically wore.  Not due to me having lost weight necessarily but due to this piece of clothing fitting me in a way where a smaller size worked.  I felt there was more worth in me knowing I was able to fit into something smaller than usual.  It empowered me – but in a self-defeating way.  I was associating my worth with a number which was a temporary hit of satisfaction.

What matters most is choosing clothing that represents our true colors and allows us to feel free in expressing ourselves in an empowering way. The size on the tag does not matter. Every store’s sizing specifications is different, even piece-to-piece.  Life happens, our bodies shift, everything is temporary, and denying ourselves properly fitting clothing (to our discernment) due to fear of upsizing is withholding more love to flow into our lives.

Evolving Style

Who is to say that, should we come to a place in our bodies where we can fit back into that piece of clothing we were hanging onto, that we will even feel aligned to that style any longer?  I don’t feel fitting into a piece of clothing that no longer inspires us would be as much of a rewarding experience than going out and trying on/buying a new piece of clothing that matches our style and our size at that moment. Plus, as we grow our bodies shift and place weight in different areas.  If your weight reduces to a number it used to be when a certain piece of clothing fit you, that clothing may or may not still fit you the same due to your body shifting in shape anyway.

Sometimes we can get creative with clothing that no longer fits us in a certain way that we desire.  Or, perhaps our clothing still fits us but doesn’t fit our style as much.  What I tend to do in circumstances like these is get out my clothing cutter and/or scissors and transform that piece of clothing into one that brings me more joy.  For example, I love crop-tops.  I also really loved this Love shirt.  However, I noticed that I didn’t love it as much as I could due to its length, as it wasn’t inspiring me.  I got out my scissors and cut that top into a crop.  Now?  I get excited whenever I see that it is clean and tucked away in my drawer, because it represents me in a more authentic way just by the style of it.  And it is even more unique since I designed it to fit me personally.

The same goes for this B Youtifull top (which is my own design and you can buy in my merch shop at https://shop.spreadshirt.com/xBrittney89 (link is on this site as well).  This top was a men’s 3x and as soon as I took some cutting sheers to it and made it into a crop top, as well as cutting the length of the sleeves, it has easily become one of my favorite tops.  I feel way more like myself when I wear it.  This is authentic empowerment. 

Sending Off with Gratitude

Hopefully the past five tips have brought you further comfort in releasing clothing that no longer suits you knowing it is not failure for doing so.  In fact, it is a noble act of self-love because you are ridding your space of that which does not bring you joy.  A peaceful way that can bring more gratitude and abundance into our lives is to gather that which no longer serves us and thank it for acting as a catalyst to teach us how to let go.  These pieces of clothing served us in the past and their duty has come to an end.  It is very self-loving and generous to release these pieces of clothing through donating them or selling them or trashing them if they have reached a state of destruction.  That way the next person who is ready to receive clothing that suits them will benefit from your own act of self-love.  The Universe will acknowledge your willingness to release the “old” and will provide opportunities to enhance your closet and your life with the more aligned “new”.

For example, I released this jean jacket and these black shorts because the energy of wearing them wasn’t fully aligned in joy.  This jacket was one I settled for wearing that I came across when I moved back home.  It was a jacket from the past that reminded me of negative energies I was leaving behind.  These black shorts were very comfortable however the zipper was constantly falling down.  They were my only pair of shorts I had with me, as most of my things are still in storage back in Maine as I’m now living in Arizona, so I had to trust that it was safe for me to release.  Better would come and I wouldn’t have to constantly worry about my zipper falling down without my awareness! Haha.

Letting go doesn’t always have to be due to size.  If the energy no longer feels fully empowering, release…

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It’s okay to evolve.  We must.  We are human.  Our bodies are constantly changing.  Releasing the old does not mean we are admitting defeat.  It means we are accepting ourselves where we are now knowing that we deserve love in this moment as we look.  Our bodies will be shifting and changing our entire lives, whether in size, shape, marks, etc.   Our willingness to deliver self-love is a choice we can make consistent regardless of how we look.  It doesn’t mean we are giving up on obtaining our desires whether that’s aimed at our body-goals or not.  It does mean that we are going after those desires from a place of self-worth and self-love.

See you soon,
BodyLoveBritt

My Sexual Orientation | From “Straight” to “Lesbian” to … “Bisexual”?

Sexuality is fluid. It is constantly changing and shifting as we grow and experience new things and ways of living. Our sexuality can change in many ways such as new methods of intimacy or a change in our preference of gender-attraction.

In 2016 I came out publicly for being lesbian after living a pretty straight lifestyle. I’d dated two men prior to coming out and although I had kissed a woman in the past and was “open-minded” about potentially dating one, I hadn’t given myself much of an opportunity to explore that avenue.  It didn’t resonate…until one day, it did.

After a long-term relationship breakup in 2015, I found myself spreading my wings in my sexuality journey and beginning to learn what it was I desired at that point in time. I began pursuing my interest in women which was developing more clearly now that I was single. I remember watching a YouTube video that I had stumbled across one night of a lesbian couple who reflected back to me what I was desiring… their connection woke up a part of me that hadn’t been ready to awaken until right then.  I cried myself to sleep that night as a powerful shift in my sexual orientation occurred.  I wanted to date a woman, and I was finally feeling open and self-accepting enough to give myself an opportunity to explore this urge.

What was crucial for me to be able to come into a comfort with dating women was having a supportive and very open-minded environment encouraging me to try new things without judgement. I had friends who identified along the LGBTQ+ spectrum and helped me find comfort in knowing that regardless of how I identified in the past and what genders I previously dated, I could still claim a new sexual orientation. I struggled with this, feeling as though I wasn’t allowed to label myself as “lesbian” since I had dated and seemingly enjoyed being with men in the past.  What I didn’t realize at that point in my life was that we are constantly evolving and shifting, and it can very well be that we wake up one day and feel entirely different in regards to our sexual orientation.

I opened to my truth more and began dating women solely as that is what resonated most with me.  So many new opportunities popped up for me to explore as a result of me staying true to my authenticity, including being invited as a “Celebrity VIP” to the Dinah Shore Annual Festival and walking a red carpet, and being included in Paper Magazine’s online article “Best LGBTQ+ YouTube Beauty Bloggers”.  Over those next few years that I identified as “lesbian” I had a couple of girlfriends and was able to really explore the experiences my soul needed to grow and evolve into my higher self.

 

Over the past six months I have been undergoing a deep soul transformation – where my life has been changing with rapidity and intensity.  I’ve never gone through as intense of a process as these past few months have brought.  With this fire has come a lot of shifts in what now best suits me and who I am.  I’ve been settling back into my feminine energy realizing the power I have there (I had been doing a lot of healing work within my masculine energy which I feel went hand-in-hand with my desire to date women at that time).  As I’ve been really stepping into this divine feminine power and energy center, I’ve been desiring in a romantic sense an energy who leads with their masculine to the depth I lead with my feminine, to balance my own energies with theirs and create an even larger yin/yang.

When I say we can wake up one day and feel entirely different in regards to our sexual orientation – I mean it – because this is what I experienced. It was as if one morning I woke up and realized, suddenly, I was attracted to men again. This was shocking to me as I had spent years seemingly solely attracted to women, not thinking I’d ever find attraction to men again. During those years I identified as lesbian, it felt so right, and that’s because it was at that time.  But, just like that, as I stepped back into my true balanced power, my orientation opened a new door to my truth.

I had been through the fire over the past few months and had really begun to learn that I do not need to seek anybody’s validation outside of my own to feel confident in my decision.  Due to this, I was able to accept this newfound awareness that I was attracted to men again, without needing to discuss it with friends in order to receive their confirmation that this was okay.  However, I did began questioning what this now meant for me. Did this mean I was completely straight again? Bisexual? Did I still find attraction to women? I had a lot of questions for myself, but I knew that regardless of the answers I was safe to explore my desires without pressure of trying to figure things out.

Nowadays, I’m comfortable saying I’m bisexual as sometimes labels help break things down for people that need a more black/white approach. To me, I’m just me and open to the energies that are most balanced,complementary and aligned with my own. It doesn’t matter the gender that goes with it.

 

So, here’s to coming out a second time. Hello world, I’ve discovered a deeper aspect of myself and thus have been able to personally embrace and represent a new part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum… the B.

Wherever your sexuality falls is okay! You are valid no matter who you’ve dated in the past or how you have identified in the past. We are ever evolving energy systems. That’s what growing as a human Being is. its safe to release any feelings of being trapped into staying a certain way due to fear of discomfort or being abandoned/ridiculed by friends/communities/people who want us to stay the same.

What we once desired may change, and that’s okay. We owe no explanations to anybody. It is safe for us to embrace our sexual orientations day by day, moment by moment. If identifying with labels empowers us, then by all means do that. It really empowered me to embrace being a lesbian and feel a sense of community and understanding around that when I needed that support most.

We cannot force a caterpillar to stay a caterpillar when we know it has a bigger destiny.

Happy Pride Month. May you give yourselves the permission to explore your own lives without judgement knowing you are safe and valid in your preferences, whatever they may be and however often they may shift.

Live freely as you are entitled to that.  All that matters is love.

See you soon!
BodyLoveBritt